You may have heard of certain games about certain birds that shall remain nameless - Bird Fight Simulator 2009 is a delightful and effortlessly humorous game that has earned it's spot among the bird-nuisance pantheon. With one player responsible for a magnificent flock of birds and the other playing a human beleaguered by many kinds of birds, there are sure to be many honks, quacks, and other assorted fowl imitations.
BIRD FIGHT SIMULATOR 2009
A downloadable reckless endeavour
This game is based on an actual job I worked about a decade ago where I had to fight birds a lot. Birds are real good fighters. Like, gosh. They do not fuck around. I wasn't supposed to hurt the birds, but nobody told them that APPARENTLY!
So, I have translated that most powerful of battles into a card based rpg. With some strong and adult language for this very mature topic of bird battles. One side plays the noble goose and the other plays the beleaguered aquatic maintenance worker. Yes, you will be honking triumphantly as the goose and laughing in that dumb birds face as the human. You roll some dice, you pick a move card, you bet some of the dice, and then you fight. Loser is the player who attracts the attentions of the swans. Everybody who has met a swan knows why. Fuck those guys, swans are The Worst Bird™
Also, if you ever want some of my real life bird war stories just lemme know. They are pretty fun, but first you must beat me in BIRD FIGHT SIMULATOR 2009!!!!!
God that job blew...
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT THIS GAME
"BIRD FIGHT SIMULATOR 2009 is a reckless endeavour. It's also an autobiographical card battle game where one player plays a tired aquatic maintenance worker and the other one plays... the birds. Like the Hitchcock film, but real." - Speak the Sky
"Oh! You should send this to [your old work]! I'm sure they'd think it was a hoot." - My Literal Mother
In order to download this reckless endeavour you must purchase it at or above the minimum price of $4.20 USD. You will get access to the following files:
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Free Community Copy
Each copy of BIRD FIGHT SIMULATOR 2009 you buy donates a copy to someone else for free! If you are unable to purchase it at this time, please claim one of these free copies for the community.
- Changed Literally One WordJun 20, 2019