A downloadable game

Buy Now$4.20 USD or more

This game is based on an actual job I worked about a decade ago where I had to fight birds a lot. Birds are real good fighters. Like, gosh. They do not fuck around. I wasn't supposed to hurt the birds, but nobody told them that APPARENTLY!

So, I have translated that most powerful of battles into a card based rpg. With some strong and adult language for this very mature topic of bird battles. One side plays the noble goose and the other plays the beleaguered aquatic maintenance worker. Yes, you will be honking triumphantly as the goose and laughing in that dumb birds face as the human. You roll some dice, you pick a move card, you bet some of the dice, and then you fight. Loser is the player who attracts the attentions of the swans. Everybody who has met a swan knows why. Fuck those guys, swans are The Worst Bird™

Also, if you ever want some of my real life bird war stories just lemme know. They are pretty fun, but first you must beat me in BIRD FIGHT SIMULATOR 2009!!!!!

God that job blew...

If the price is an issue for you, please send me a DM on Twitter @adiraslattery


Buy Now$4.20 USD or more

In order to download this game you must purchase it at or above the minimum price of $4.20 USD. You will get access to the following files:


Development log


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You may have heard of certain games about certain birds that shall remain nameless - Bird Fight Simulator 2009 is a delightful and effortlessly humorous game that has earned it's spot among the bird-nuisance pantheon. With one player responsible for a magnificent flock of birds and the other playing a human beleaguered by many kinds of birds, there are sure to be many honks, quacks, and other assorted fowl imitations.